she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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