i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
