tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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