Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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