Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
