We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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