I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
