they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
