6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
