what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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