i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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