What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
