Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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