just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
birth control should be required to get into college
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
