I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
