I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
