really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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