i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
