I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
