i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
