I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
