Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
