I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize