we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize