what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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