I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
