she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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