the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
