I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
