Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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