She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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