quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
