did you get engaged???
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
