Will you blow on my dice?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
