I will die if light touches me.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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