I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
vagina is talking i cant
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.