if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize