is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".