That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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