i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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