She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
