So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
