And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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