I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize