So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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