if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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