Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
