Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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