who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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