Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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