there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
