Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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