chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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