I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
