yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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