ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
