The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
