I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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