i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
