you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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