He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
