i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
