either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
