His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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