Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
