she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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