I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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