Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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