I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
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